Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Love That Hurt… Part 1

He is late again. I wish he didn’t do that, not when there was so much going on. Now that granny had passed away, for the last eight months I have had to take care of Ammu all by myself. I wish he would be more supportive, at least now when the symptoms were repeating themselves. Ammu was coughing out so loud that I thought, God forbid, her intestines would burst out. There was some blood as well, on the inner lining of her mouth. Well, when a two year old is so sick, you put her in ICU and make sure she is safe. But no! When granny was here she would always shoo off the symptoms as very minor issues and sometimes even say that I was exaggerating. I was exaggerating! Could I be cared for any lesser? I wish that now that granny was not around, not that I had hoped for her death, it would be much easier to get my word through to him and those doctors. Those damn doctors who wouldn’t care to take a second glance at Ammu. Those self-assured, heartless, bas…. God! Even I have been forced to stoop down to this level. Anyway, I hope at least today my voice is accounted for. After all, the blood, the coughing fit and her twitching fingers ought to convince him and those doctors how sick Ammu is. I think he is back, I hope he hasn’t forgotten to pick up the cooking supplies I ordered through the phone this morning.

“Hey, how was your day? Oh look what we have here Ammu. Do you like your new toy?” says Vicky who is overly cheerful.
“Terrible”, doesn’t he realize how pale Ammu is. I yell, “Vicky, are you even a human being?”
“What? What’s gotten into you?”
“Don’t tell me you haven’t noticed how sick Ammu is! She coughed so much that she bled out of her mouth. She was running high temperature and she looks so pale! You don’t need to look so surprised. Just help me take her to the hospital; we have an appointment with the doctor at seven.”
“Ok. Let’s leave immediately” says Vicky.

We didn’t talk on the way. I was worried sick of Ammu. It looked like she wanted to tell how much pain she was in, but just couldn’t because the pain silenced her into suffocated sobs. Just looking made me depressed. Why the hell wouldn’t the damn doctor take a proper look at her? If only she had been properly diagnosed six months back, all this trouble would have been prevented.

“We are here for the 7 o’clock appointment with Dr. Narayan.”
The receptionist monotonously replies “You may take this corridor. It’s the second last door to the left.”

“Yes. What seems to be the problem?” enquires a very obese bespectacled doctor who must be Dr. Narayan.
I reply, “Ammu has had a severe coughing fit today. I noticed blood on the inner lining of her mouth. She has had high fever in the morning.”
“Has she exhibited these symptoms before?”
“Yes, in fact she has had on and off episodes for the last month.”
“Then why wasn’t this brought to my notice earlier? Anyway, let me examine her. She seems to have normal temperature now. Her breathing is quite stable. Has she coughed in the last hour or so?”
Vicky interjects, “No doctor, I don’t believe so.”
I plea, “But doctor, this is perhaps the third time this week. I have also observed difficulty in her breathing, like asthma.”
Vicky whispers to me “You didn’t tell me that!”
Yeah right! When will he learn to see what is obviously in front of him. God save this family. I wish that Ammu gets through all of this.
After a few minutes the Doctor announces, “Ammu might be showing rudimentary signs of asthma, I will prescribe medicines for the breathing problem. As for the fever, since she has no sign of it now, in case the temperature crosses 100 degrees give her this tablet dissolved in water and a sponge bath.”
We didn’t talk much on the way back. I only wished that Ammu was taken in by the hospital. It was perhaps the best thing for her at the moment, but the doctor yet again had sent her back; at least this time with some prescriptions.

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