Basic principles:
No woman wakes up saying: "God, I hope I don't get a tweet today."
Now, she might say, "This is a really bad time for texting me."
Or something like, "I just need some time with myspace."
Or my personal favorite: "I'm really not into orkuting right now."
You believe that? Neither does she. You know why?
Because she's lying to you, that's why.
You understand me? Lying.
It's not a bad time to text her.
She doesn't need myspace.
She may not be into orkut anymore...
but what she's really saying is, "Get away from my friends list right now."
Or possibly, "Try harder, stupid."
Well, which one is it? 60 % of all human communication is nonverbal (Its textual).
30% is your emoticons.
So that means that 90% of what you're saying...ain't coming out of your mouth.
Of course she'll lie to you.
She's a nice person, she doesn't wanna hurt your feelings.
What else is she gonna say? She doesn't even know you.
Yet.
Luckily, the fact is that just like the rest of us...
even a woman with a beautiful profile doesn't know what she wants until she sees it.
And that's where I come in.
My job is to open her new social networking accounts.
Basic principles: No matter what,
no matter when, no matter who...
any man has a chance to tweet any woman off her virtual feet.
Just needs the right social networking profile.
You can always use what you do not have.
So if you're shy, be bold.If you're a loser, be popular.
She may not want the whole truth, and she does not want the real you.
If you don't think your profile pics are really you.
Remember that, "you" is a very fluid concept right now.
You 'make' the pics.
You look great in the pics.
That's the ‘you’ I'm talking about.
The key tonight is to stalk her on the internet.
Give her plenty of messages on myspace.
If she lingers at a status update, move on.
But maintain the visual.
Ask her what she thought about your profile...what was her favorite photograph, why that one.
And when she answers, don't be looking at her picture keep PMing.
Don't be wondering, what she looks like naked. Just ask her for a picture.
Read what she types and respond. Read and respond.
That way, when it's your turn to type...you'll have something better to say than;"I like your profile picture."
And all of a sudden, we're on day number two of internet stalking.
One moment, you're enjoying your life.
And the next, you're wondering how you ever lived without them.
Three days is all I need.
Three days, and I'll get you here, to the high-stakes medal round...
where eight out of ten women believe that the first video chat...
will tell them everything they need to know about you and the relationship.
After that, you're on your own. But always remember...
life is not the amount of tweets you make.
It's the tweets that take your breath away.
based on the script from the movie Hitch
No woman wakes up saying: "God, I hope I don't get a tweet today."
Now, she might say, "This is a really bad time for texting me."
Or something like, "I just need some time with myspace."
Or my personal favorite: "I'm really not into orkuting right now."
You believe that? Neither does she. You know why?
Because she's lying to you, that's why.
You understand me? Lying.
It's not a bad time to text her.
She doesn't need myspace.
She may not be into orkut anymore...
but what she's really saying is, "Get away from my friends list right now."
Or possibly, "Try harder, stupid."
Well, which one is it? 60 % of all human communication is nonverbal (Its textual).
30% is your emoticons.
So that means that 90% of what you're saying...ain't coming out of your mouth.
Of course she'll lie to you.
She's a nice person, she doesn't wanna hurt your feelings.
What else is she gonna say? She doesn't even know you.
Yet.
Luckily, the fact is that just like the rest of us...
even a woman with a beautiful profile doesn't know what she wants until she sees it.
And that's where I come in.
My job is to open her new social networking accounts.
Basic principles: No matter what,
no matter when, no matter who...
any man has a chance to tweet any woman off her virtual feet.
Just needs the right social networking profile.
You can always use what you do not have.
So if you're shy, be bold.If you're a loser, be popular.
She may not want the whole truth, and she does not want the real you.
If you don't think your profile pics are really you.
Remember that, "you" is a very fluid concept right now.
You 'make' the pics.
You look great in the pics.
That's the ‘you’ I'm talking about.
The key tonight is to stalk her on the internet.
Give her plenty of messages on myspace.
If she lingers at a status update, move on.
But maintain the visual.
Ask her what she thought about your profile...what was her favorite photograph, why that one.
And when she answers, don't be looking at her picture keep PMing.
Don't be wondering, what she looks like naked. Just ask her for a picture.
Read what she types and respond. Read and respond.
That way, when it's your turn to type...you'll have something better to say than;"I like your profile picture."
And all of a sudden, we're on day number two of internet stalking.
One moment, you're enjoying your life.
And the next, you're wondering how you ever lived without them.
Three days is all I need.
Three days, and I'll get you here, to the high-stakes medal round...
where eight out of ten women believe that the first video chat...
will tell them everything they need to know about you and the relationship.
After that, you're on your own. But always remember...
life is not the amount of tweets you make.
It's the tweets that take your breath away.
based on the script from the movie Hitch
