Love That Hurt... Part 2

He is late yet again. It has been a week since the last doctor visit. Her condition has been getting progressively worse. I don’t know what the lab test results say. I hope everything is ok. We should be leaving else we will miss the appointment.
On reaching the hospital we make our way to the examination room.
“Yes, what seems to be the problem” asks the doctor looking through his spectacles, silently judging me.
Disregarding his piercing gaze I reply, “The symptoms have become worse. She now has nightmares during the day. She wakes up screaming during her afternoon naps. She somehow doesn’t seem to have that problem in the night. Her fever is back, and the medicine you gave just isn’t working.”
“Is that all? Or have anymore symptoms presented themselves?”
“Yes, there is one other thing. Her left hand pinky keeps twitching every now and then. Doctor, I am really worried, please, I beg you …..”
“I will certainly look into it. The new symptoms make this a very serious case. The lab test results are completely normal which makes this case all the more dangerous. It could be an unknown infection. We better admit you daughter immediately and keep her under observation. I would very much like it if you could provide all her previous medical records”
I nearly let out sign of relief but satisfy myself with a smile. Ammu is finally going to be admitted and treated well. Thank God! Her efforts are not in vain.
Vicky hands over her file to the doctor who on examining it exclaims, “Good God! I am your tenth doctor in six months.”
Vicky says, “My wife sometimes worries too much about Ammu. She says none of the doctors take a good look at Ammu, everyone is always sure that there is nothing wrong with her. So she practically has searched out all the doctors in this city.”
“That I must agree.” Says Narayan who then turns to me and says, “You know your daughter is actually fine. I was going to admit her for your satisfaction.”
I was both shocked and enraged. I say, “What the hell do you mean? My satisfaction!? Ammu is sick. She is so sick, she has nightmares. She is in pain, just look at her. Can’t you tell that she is in pain? How can all of you people be so insensitive?”
“I don’t mean to offend you, but surely you must understand that no doctor can treat the deadliest disease that never existed! After last weeks visit, I did a little probing myself and found quite a few interesting things.” He then turns to Vicky and asks, “Is she normal otherwise? As in, with regard to matters that do not involve Ammu and her health is she rational?”
Vicky at first looks surprised by the doctor’s behavior but calmly replies, “No, she is otherwise fine.”
Narayan lets out a small snigger of victory and turn to me and says, “I’ll tell you a small story. Baron von Munchausen a German who served in the military until 1750. After returning home he supposedly told a number of outrageous tall tales about his adventures. According to the stories, as retold by others, the Baron's astounding feats included riding cannonballs, traveling to the Moon, and escaping from a swamp by pulling himself up by his own hair. Well, the moral of the story is that a disorder has been named after the Baron, called……”
I can’t take anymore of this, so I yell, “This is bullshit. What has this got to do with anything at all? Are you even a doctor?”
Narayan coolly says, “I am perfectly sane, are you? Tell me, what are you feeding Ammu? Why are you poisoning her yourself and then saying she is ill? Is it the attention? Do you feel that your daughter needs sympathy from everyone?”
Vicky looks at me confused and in a quivering voice asks, “Please explain your self Dr. Narayan, this is not something to joke about.”
“This is not a joke, there is only one patient here, and that is your wife. She is suffering from Munchausen syndrome by proxy. It is a dangerous disorder wherein injury is deliberately and gradually inflicted upon someone to gain attention or for some other benefit.”
Vicky still quivering, “Even if what you are saying is true, you imply that my wife poisoned Ammu just to get her treated again!? That’s more messed up than most serial killer movies I have seen!”
Narayan says, “Believe me or not, but eventually you will have to face the facts. Why the symptoms almost never appear when you are around. Even if they do, it’s mostly one or at most two of large list of symptoms your wife provided me with and in lesser intensity. If you would have monitored the usage of my prescribed medicine you might have noticed the over use, which would explain why the lab reports show toxins and over use of the medicines. Your wife is sick, its best you save your daughter before she eventually kills her!”

What do these people think I am? Some kind of monster? They don’t understand how I feel. Ammu is my precious daughter. She is special. Such special kids must be looked after very well, not by me in this germ filled home. But those doctors would not take her in. I had to get her to a safe place until she would be strong enough to take on these infections, bacteria, fungi, virus, etc. Our world is not safe for Ammu. How would these imbeciles understand this?
How can a mother’s love hurt?

Love That Hurt… Part 1

He is late again. I wish he didn’t do that, not when there was so much going on. Now that granny had passed away, for the last eight months I have had to take care of Ammu all by myself. I wish he would be more supportive, at least now when the symptoms were repeating themselves. Ammu was coughing out so loud that I thought, God forbid, her intestines would burst out. There was some blood as well, on the inner lining of her mouth. Well, when a two year old is so sick, you put her in ICU and make sure she is safe. But no! When granny was here she would always shoo off the symptoms as very minor issues and sometimes even say that I was exaggerating. I was exaggerating! Could I be cared for any lesser? I wish that now that granny was not around, not that I had hoped for her death, it would be much easier to get my word through to him and those doctors. Those damn doctors who wouldn’t care to take a second glance at Ammu. Those self-assured, heartless, bas…. God! Even I have been forced to stoop down to this level. Anyway, I hope at least today my voice is accounted for. After all, the blood, the coughing fit and her twitching fingers ought to convince him and those doctors how sick Ammu is. I think he is back, I hope he hasn’t forgotten to pick up the cooking supplies I ordered through the phone this morning.

“Hey, how was your day? Oh look what we have here Ammu. Do you like your new toy?” says Vicky who is overly cheerful.
“Terrible”, doesn’t he realize how pale Ammu is. I yell, “Vicky, are you even a human being?”
“What? What’s gotten into you?”
“Don’t tell me you haven’t noticed how sick Ammu is! She coughed so much that she bled out of her mouth. She was running high temperature and she looks so pale! You don’t need to look so surprised. Just help me take her to the hospital; we have an appointment with the doctor at seven.”
“Ok. Let’s leave immediately” says Vicky.

We didn’t talk on the way. I was worried sick of Ammu. It looked like she wanted to tell how much pain she was in, but just couldn’t because the pain silenced her into suffocated sobs. Just looking made me depressed. Why the hell wouldn’t the damn doctor take a proper look at her? If only she had been properly diagnosed six months back, all this trouble would have been prevented.

“We are here for the 7 o’clock appointment with Dr. Narayan.”
The receptionist monotonously replies “You may take this corridor. It’s the second last door to the left.”

“Yes. What seems to be the problem?” enquires a very obese bespectacled doctor who must be Dr. Narayan.
I reply, “Ammu has had a severe coughing fit today. I noticed blood on the inner lining of her mouth. She has had high fever in the morning.”
“Has she exhibited these symptoms before?”
“Yes, in fact she has had on and off episodes for the last month.”
“Then why wasn’t this brought to my notice earlier? Anyway, let me examine her. She seems to have normal temperature now. Her breathing is quite stable. Has she coughed in the last hour or so?”
Vicky interjects, “No doctor, I don’t believe so.”
I plea, “But doctor, this is perhaps the third time this week. I have also observed difficulty in her breathing, like asthma.”
Vicky whispers to me “You didn’t tell me that!”
Yeah right! When will he learn to see what is obviously in front of him. God save this family. I wish that Ammu gets through all of this.
After a few minutes the Doctor announces, “Ammu might be showing rudimentary signs of asthma, I will prescribe medicines for the breathing problem. As for the fever, since she has no sign of it now, in case the temperature crosses 100 degrees give her this tablet dissolved in water and a sponge bath.”
We didn’t talk much on the way back. I only wished that Ammu was taken in by the hospital. It was perhaps the best thing for her at the moment, but the doctor yet again had sent her back; at least this time with some prescriptions.